Unconditional love, simply put, is love without affection. This is the love that you offer freely.
You don't base it on what someone will do for you in return. You simply love him and want nothing more than his happiness.
Sometimes referred to as compassionate love or agape love, this kind of love may sound a bit familiar. Perhaps it reminds you of the love your parents have for you or the love you have for your own child.
While people often associate unconditional love with family love, many also seek such love in romantic relationships.
Wanting someone to love you for their own sake, no matter what, is an understandable desire. But that kind of love can still seem like something straight out of fairy tales and movies, not something most people find in real life.
Is this love as difficult to understand as it sounds? Can this also happen in a romantic relationship?
Read on for a deeper understanding of what unconditional love is (and isn't) and some strategies for developing it.
What is it
Unconditional love is a selfless act. You are not there for yourself.
While it may overlap in some way with other types of love, other elements differ from it.
You can recognize it by this main feature.
It can be good for emotional health
A small study from 2009 examined areas of the brain that are activated by feelings of unconditional love. The results showed that unconditional love activates some of the same areas of the brain's reward system as romantic love.
In other words, the simple act of unconditional love for someone can evoke positive feelings.
Receiving unconditional love can also change emotional well-being. According to a 2010 study, children who experience more love from their parents or caregivers tend to be more resilient as adults. They also tend to have fewer mental symptoms.
Findings from a 2013 study support the idea that loving children inevitably improves their health and well-being throughout life. This suggests that unconditional parental love may provide protection against the damaging, often long-lasting, consequences of childhood trauma or abuse.
It feels secure
Unconditional love can provide a sense of security both in childhood and in adulthood.
Having faith in the other person's love and knowing that it will not go away can help build secure bonds and foster autonomy, independence, and self-confidence.
When you know that your parents or guardians will still love you even if you make mistakes or do things they don't approve of, from skipping school to drinking at parties when you were underage, you'll feel better. comfortable when you make mistakes, make your own decisions and learn from them as you go.
In the context of friendship, unconditional love can withstand tests such as conflicts, fights, or different life goals.
In the case of romantic relationships, unconditional love can mean that the love will not go away despite challenges, such as a life-changing health condition or changes in appearance or personality.
It’s altruistic
Altruism refers to useful actions performed to support and benefit others, often at their expense.
When it comes to unconditional love, altruism means not considering the potential benefits of loving someone. You offer your love for their support and benefit.
Many say that love is a gift in itself, but altruistic actions usually do not work. This is a controversial point in the discussion of unconditional love in romantic situations.
Since a healthy relationship is by definition mutually beneficial, this seems to suggest that romantic love, at least in a relationship, cannot be truly unconditional.
This includes acceptance and forgiveness
Humans are imperfect and almost everyone makes some decisions they regret. However, unconditional love requires unconditional acceptance.
So you forgive your mistakes and continue to offer love and acceptance even, and this is important, when the decision disappoints or hurts you.
You cannot love someone unconditionally unless your love remains unchanged despite their actions. However, you can love someone unconditionally without having a relationship with them.
Acceptance sometimes means acknowledging when someone is unlikely to change and taking steps to protect her own well-being.
